I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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