i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
