My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize