he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
