she woke up with a sticky ear
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
its liver damage thursday
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
