Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
