i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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