Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
