somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
