i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
