please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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