Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
