I look better un-naked...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
