Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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