Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My life is pants optional.
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