I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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