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He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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