you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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