if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
