I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
