Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
