I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
