Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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