I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Someone shit on the floor
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
