I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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