why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
