Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
