i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
