Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
