i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
