It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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