It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I want her autograph on my taint
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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