Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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