i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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