ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
