never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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