He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
