I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
