The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My vagina is officially offended.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
