Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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