You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
