im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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