i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
