Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
why is half of my head shaved?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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