girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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