If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
