How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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