all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
