so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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