The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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