Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
