let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
