Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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