im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
