Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
