what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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