Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
