Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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