I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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