i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my sisters under your porch take her home
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
