Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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