Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
