I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
