My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
