you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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