i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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