I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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