Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
